Trauma anxiety and depression
Stuck in a lifestyle rut ?
Most of us come to a point in our life where we become aware that something, or things, are no longer working for us and we become unhappy and dissatisdied. Depression often arises out of our needs and desires not being met and however many pills we take they are not going to change our unhappy lifes without us being part of the solution. Perhaps the demands and work pressure make us question whether we can stick with it until the day we retire or if it is what we really want to be doing. The same with our relationships but we feel unable to change or ask for what we need. it is never too late to have a change of direction and often we don't need someone to tell us what needs changing but it is the courage to take steps which is difficult. Working with a therapist means there is someone who can listen without asking you to be cautious but who can help explore the possibility of change.
Anxiety and depression are the most common health care symptoms of the modern age. They are more often than not our mind and body's early warning signals that something is wrong. These feelings and emotions can be frightening and overwhelm us and although we are not always aware of what they are we can begin to understand and identify the underlying reasons for our emotonal responses. We can learn skills and techniques to help us cope better without our emotions controlling and mpacting on our life.
Trauma is often misunderstood and we may not recognise that events in our life has affected us in ways we don't understand.
Whether we have had frightening experiences in our early years or have had some kind of abuse there are possibly symptoms of trauma which we do not directly associate to these experiences. Trauma often manifests itself in other guises such as depression, sleep disturbance, eating disorders - over and under eating, Drinking too much, compulsive behaviour ( o.c.d ) and difficulties in our relationships. Trauma can be worked through in a non intrusive way which frees up the anxiety and fears which seem to be lodged in our psyche. We can let go of our past and move into a place of freedom.
There are now more divorces and single people than in any time in history and it seems that many of us are struggling to adapt and change what has been programmed into us from what we see with our parents, the media, movies - and we are left wondering if our expectations are too high, if there is someone out there who will love and accept me as I am.
We may be in unhappy relationships for a number of reasons - because we have changed/they have changed/ we want to leave but are afraid of hurting them or ourselves, feel guilt about the children, are experiencing abuse and violence or are behaving abusively or violently to our children and partners.
We can feel a failure where the rest of society appear to be getting it right.
We may have experienced behaviour in previous relationships which have left scars and fears about taking another risk and having more of the same and decide to stay single and safe.
There is an alternative and it is possible to have good healthy relationships and work thrugh some of the undelying fears and emotons coming out of our shell can evoke.
The old cliche that we have to have a relatonship with ourself before we can have good relations with others is a truth and often the most fulfilling one we will have. True happiness comes from self acceptance of who and what we are the good, the bad and the not so nice !
There is nothing more shameful and stigmatising than having to admit that we are having problems controlling what many other people are able to do in moderation. What starts off as recreational and a way to relax and harmless escapism can without warning become something we have to do despite attempts to cut down or stop.
Dependency is formed in the brains pleasure pathway due to a combination of frequency of use as well as other factors and it is not apparent that we may have a problem until we start having consequences - financial, physical, reduced work performance and strains on relationships.
There are many approaches to help curb dependency and addictive behaviour - I can help design a programme to support breaking the cycle and restore health and well-being and repair the damage to family and work relationships with ongoing support to help stay focussed and avoid relapse.
often people find that stopping one problem can lead to using some other drug or behaviour even after many years of abstinence and it is important to address this as early as possible to prevent relapse to the initial drug or behaviour of choice.
Relationships - past present and future
The courage to change the things we can....
Personally, embarking on the journey of self exploration has been one of the most important gifts I have given myself. Of course, like most people who feel they need some kind of therapy, it was not something I entered with enthusiasm - indeed I felt a little angry that somehow my life hadn't turned out as fulfilling as I had planned. Paying a stranger to listen to my woes seemed self indulgent to say the least but within a couple of sessions I realised that talking about me and my life to a stranger was exactly what I needed. The confidentiality and safe space helped me to examine my life and what I got back was a life changing experience and I still engage in therapy, still learning and still discovering.
In addition to one to one sessions I also offer Skype counselling and coaching for distance clients and for clients living overseas where specialist services are not accessible.